It-was-a-dark-and-stormy-night Dept

Ladies and gentlemen, the winning entry of this year's Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing Contest:

"As he stared at her ample bosom, he daydreamed of the dual Stromberg carburetors in his vintage Triumph Spitfire, highly functional yet pleasingly formed, perched prominently on top of the intake manifold, aching for experienced hands, the small knurled caps of the oil dampeners begging to be inspected and adjusted as described in chapter seven of the shop manual."

That's by Dan McKay, a Microsoft analyst from North Dakota, who is currently in China and cannot be reached for comment. Fortunately.