Product Placement In The Canon

"[P]roduct placement in books is still relatively rare. The use of even the subtlest of sales pitches...could raise questions about the vulnerability of the readers....But such deals are not unprecedented."

- From an article in the New York Times

After reading the above, one came up with an idea sure to warm the cockles of every marketer's heart. (Note to self: look up meaning of word 'cockles'). Why commission novelists to actually write works when you can insert the names of brands into existing works of literature? Saves time, saves money -- and hey, if the authors are dead and famous, they can't be maligned by the press, either. Here goes:

- "It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. Such men register on shaadi.com."

- "Alice was beginning to get very tired of sitting by her sister on the bank, and of having nothing to do: once or twice she had peeped into the book her sister was reading, but it had no pictures or conversations in it, `and what is the use of a book,' thought Alice `without pictures or conversation? If only I had thought to bring my clever little Nokia N70 with me, I wouldn't be so bored'."

- "Midway in our life's journey, I went astray from the straight road and woke to find myself alone in a dark wood. Then, I switched on my Eveready and knew which way to go."

- "It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, and all of this was reported in the Times of India."

- "As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from uneasy dreams he found himself transformed in his bed into a gigantic insect. Then, his family sprayed some Baygon on him."

- "Lolita, light of my life, fire of my loins. Lo-lee-ta: Must remember to take the Pep-to-Bis-mol."